I am hoping that posting publicly about my
journey is going to make me feel liberated rather than vulnerable and that maybe someone out there who
stumbles across our little blog might be able to relate to where I am coming
from…maybe I am kidding myself but it is a risk I am willing to take.
So here we go…
I have struggled with depression and
anxiety since my late teens- it’s not something I am ashamed of and I am sure
that many of my friends will be aware of this already. It’s usually nothing
more than a tendency for mood swings and situational ‘lows’ although I have had
more serious episodes on occasion. The past year has been a tough one for me
for many reasons; family issues, bereavement and illness, sudden change of
career, dealing with unemployment, losing friends to the other side of the
world and a killer quarter life crisis as the cherry on top. As a result of
this tumultuous time I have found myself battling with a more serious
depressive episode and requiring both medication and counselling to help me
cope with everyday life.
You might be thinking- why is she blurting
this all out on this blog? Well the reason I feel it is relevant, misguided or
not- you be the judge, is because as a result of the SSRI medication I was
given I found myself gaining over 10kg in as many weeks. I have a
slowed metabolism, increase in appetite and simultaneous low motivation to
exercise to thank for this. That seems unfair doesn’t it- the stuff you get given
to make you feel better ends up making you feel even worse?! WTF.
So here I am 10kg up (on too heavy
already), self esteem and body image sub-zero and beginning the slow and
horrible process of weaning myself off this medication. Enter Pizey with her
beautiful and infectious smile and the desire to get fit and lose weight the
healthy way! It was a match made in heaven and naturally I decided to jump on
board.
Phew! That was a bit draining but I think just
cathartic enough to justify my soul baring/ranting...Now for something light to end the post with-
You can choose to live your life with the joy of the front row or solemness of the third row. The choice is yours.
[Exercise today = 6km walk (couldn't make shbam), % weight loss
= 0.5%, exposed BUT relieved]
Over and out,
Chloe x
And what a fantastic way to express the way you feel and share your emotional rollercoaster ride that you are on; than through this blog.
ReplyDeleteYou have the utmost support from your dearest and large amounts of love from your family. And never forget that that's what we are here for too.
Im pleased your choosing the front row...it makes the journey that much more enjoyable.
Kia Kaha petal xx
Anna
Thanks Anna- you are my ultimate front row babe. Thanks for always being there with a big smile and infectious laugh. LOVE YOU x
DeleteI just wrote a big blurb on how motivational and exciting this is but lost it somehow...? Any way super proud if you both and I wil be following!! :) hopefully u will also keep me and others accountable for feeding our bodies with nutricious food and love ;) getting rid of the negatives....
ReplyDeleteThanks beautiful girl you are the most inspirational one of all...might have to get you on board for some guest posts later on ""Personal Training Guru" xx
Delete