Skewed perspective

I love taking photos of friends and family. Capturing the highs and lows of life through a fixed frame & these days often editing on Instagram or in Snapseed. Over time I have lost count of how many times I have shown a friend a photo of themselves and been genuinely shocked when they dislike it. I never keep, let alone publish images of friends I don't think do them justice hence the shock. How can I see health, happiness and beauty and they can only see flaws?! 

My grandparents often chastised my generation for being vain. My grandfather genuinely preferred the shots of us mid chew or sneering at each other. We thought he was crazy. Failing that a truly awful photographer but what if he was right? What if true beauty is when we aren't posing? I screen shot this photo from a video clip with my beautiful Mummy in Punakaiki yesterday and genuinely adore it. 

Can you tell how hard we were laughing? Surely sharing our mirth is more relevant than the fact that neither of us were made up or 'camera ready'. 

For me this critique of ourselves goes further. I too strongly dislike most photos that are taken of me, I have had to ask friends to remove photos of me in swimwear from FB because they reduced me to tears and rarely post any of myself. Flicking through family photo albums last night I stumbled across this photo and it made me wonder when this aversion started. 

I was 15. I was self conscious of my body. I wished it was slimmer, more toned, more like my peers. A decade later this is the body I am working hard to get back to. Why didn't I appreciate it then? When did I start censoring the images I published and perhaps more alarmingly, when did I start censoring how I saw myself? Would I have allowed my body to digress as far as I have if I had been more present in my own skin? Edited less, accepted more? 

For me, this has reminded me how important this lifestyle change is. I can't wait to post a photo to this blog in those board shorts. I know casual exercise and a haphazard diet won't get me there so Chloe I hope you're in for the long run because I have a long way to go!

For the rest of you, please take a moment to reflect on yourselves. Appreciate those toned muscles, slim frames and smooth skin. Beautiful hair, eyes, ankles, skin... I don't want any of you looking back in a decade and feeling as daft as I do for not appreciating it whilst I had it. Until you do appreciate it...

P x

[Going to go for walk up to Brickfields and face the horrible hill I studiously avoided as a kid, ???, happy to be home]